HOLY SHIT YOU GUYZ

We're in ITALY OMG. The keyboards in Italy suck real hard. All the punctuation is in weird places. Here's a euro €. €€€€€€€ <--- that is how rich we are. Actually that is a lie. We are none rich because Italy is way expensive. Gelato is cheap though. So we are none rich except in kilograms. But maybe not because we walk EVERYWHERE because the streets in Siena are too tiny for cars, not that that stops people from trying to run you down while you are innocently walking to Il Campo or some shit.

SO WE WILL GAIN WEIGHT IN MUSCLE ARRRRRRRR.

In other news, here are some cool things about Italia / Italiano:

• If you don't dry your hair after you shower YOU WILL DIE. (Or at least all the Italians think so. Also if you don't wear shoes. Or if your window is open at night.)
• The equivalent to Fluffy is Foofi.
• Dubbing is their favorite. Tons of American films - tons of dubbing.
  
• BAMBINI
• All the women are hot.
  
• We have not, however, spotted very many hot men. Minus all the professors at the Siena School OF COURSE. We saw the creative writing teacher from afar and he appears to be quite the silver fox. School has never been so exciting.
• Logan likes penises.
• SKIRTS AND DRESSES EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME OMGOMGOMG BEST SKIRT SEMESTER EVER.
• Everything is pretty. Everything. (Not Logan.)
• The Ram contrada is the best contrada. Even though it hasn't won anything for like 20 years or something.
• False. Clearly la torre (TOWER) and tartuca (TURTLELOL) are better. When I figure out which one I'm supposed to like I'll let y'all know which is best.
• LA TORRE HAS AN ELEPHANT OK.
• Actually, we also saw one that we're pretty sure is a half unicorn, half lion. That one is probably the best, let's be real.
• HELL YES there are gas stations with weird dragon/horse bodies. It's got six legs and breathes fire. It's on all the signs and even the Italians don't know what the fuck it is. (We asked.)
• Basilicas. (You know. Churches with bits of dead saints in them.) (Also they don't let you in if you're dressed like a skank.)
  

We only have fifteen minutes before we start to learn Italian, and we obviously have to obnoxiously post this link to about a billion facebook profiles, so peace out girl scouts.

CIAO.

xoxo,
Gossip Basilicas (except skanky)