The 80s - ARE THEY BACK??????

(No.)

However, a lot of important things have come out of the 80s like awfully terribly wonderful party themes for white people. And yellow blazers. And neon tights. AND PORK: THE OTHER WHITE MEAT SUNGLASSES!!!!!!!

Lately at the CoW, things have been a wee bit stressful but thankfully like all successful college students, we've been getting a little bit wasted and a lot of bit ridiculous pretty much every day, especially weekdays. Sometimes we also smoke things that are not technically legal. But only sometimes. And only while crossing Beall at like 11 o'clock, and why are we wasted at 11 again? Seems a little early. Sometimes we also drunk dial all of our sober friends at like 10 o'clock and tell them all about how we're wearing neon tights and no shirt. Things like that happen.

It's fuckin' Wooster, man.

(We put shirts back on before we drunkenly crossed Beall while smoking a joint, so no worries. Some of us actually never lost their shirts. Weird.)

In other news,

Chuck Bass II is doing pretty well with his plants and his penis snails. Except for the part where Lindsay almost killed him AGAIN by making him flop all over the desk (which, in case you were wondering, is NOT filled with water). Also forgot those damn drops again. Motherfucker, how am I supposed to remember that shit? OH the water you drink every day is actually FISH POISON WATER, seriously? What's up with that?

Speaking of Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl has not been on for like TWO WEEKS or some shit? What is that? The CW is a bunch of bitchass hookers. More importantly, the Office won't be new this week AGAIN. What is this mid-season we're going to take away the best shows bullshit? Fuck that. I'm We're going to shank so many hoes. NBC, CW. Just you wait.

Also, speaking of things that are bullshit, what is up with people just all up and jaunting off to Chicago for, like, PEACE and shit? No one likes peace anyway, and Quakers are only good for oatmeal (and even then, not that great).

[There was a section about sex here, but we took it out for everyone's sakes. Also because it was too graphic and we don't want to unleash our erotic fiction talents quite yet. Erotic fiction? Erotic facts!]

This is so much better than homework.

Also better than homework: The 80's.


That's all, gentle readers. (I like the part where no one is actually reading this.)

XOXO,
Gossip Carrots