WHAT UP AMERICA

HEY GURL HEY. (ciao, ragazza, ciao!) Blogging from Italy again. It'll probably be like that for a while.

It is real hot in Italy right now. We're estimating about a billion degrees or so (celcius, obv). Our thighs are sticking together like nobody's business. (It's real attractive, boyz. Come to Italy lololololol.) Speaking of attractive, we have toured Siena probably a thousand times with different professors and I'm pretty sure that I'm permanently going to have cankles. Hope y'all are into that. (For the record, the bloggers would like to state that only half of them are developing cankles. You can guess which half.) (And the cankles are only during the day. At night they go away. And you know that night time is the sexy time anyway.)

ANYWAY, less about the gross things our bodies do when it is real hot and more about how super great Italy is. One of our primary activities in Italy is eating gelato. We do this every day. So far we have resisted the temptation to do it multiple times a day, but our resolve is falling fast, unlike our weight. (HOW MANY KG DO I WEIGH????? I HAVE NO IDEA. WTF IS A KG???????)

In Italian class we are learning many things, like what is a verb. (It is an action word, for those of you at home who don't keep up with English.) (Peter.) Also, in case you ever need to call someone a dirty slut in Italian, we can totally tell you how. We have priorities. Also we can count (sort of).

Today's lesson on Italy will be about how to eat. The first step in eating is to get a ton more food than everyone around you, mostly just because you are a guest. Eat it. There is no other option, because if you don't eat it, then your host mother will think you hate her. Also, don't feel weird when they watch you eat. It is totes normal. They will never stop watching you, actually. In Italy it is apparently a thing to stare at people on the street. The best is that it's always creepy men, and they always look real mad, like maybe you ate their baby or something. Or your contrada beat their contrada during the Palio. EVEN WORSE. (FUN FACT: More praying goes on before the Palio than any other time during the year. Italians are v. serious about their Catholic bullshit.)

Back to eating. After you eat 12 plates of pasta they will take away your bowl and put some meat and veggies on your plate. To make them happy, eat this, too. Also the 17 types of fruit that come after that, plus dessert, if it's offered. Sometimes dessert consists of super alcoholic lemon shit. It is good, so no worries there.

Right now our host mommies have been packing us lunches like we are 7, but next week we have to start making our own. This will involve many grand adventures to the grocery store (otherwise known as "Conad" lololol). Stay tuned for updates.

OH SPEAKING OF WHICH LINDSAY TOTALLY GOT CARDED BUYING WINE AT THE GROCERY STORE IN CASE ANYONE HASN'T HEARD BECAUSE SHE IS SECRETLY (OR NOT SO SECRETLY LOLOL) TWELVE.

Shit damn.


With much love
(XOXO),

GOSSIP CONADS