Science: Real Good or THE BEST EVER??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

(Neither.)

Things We Have Learned So Far in SCIENCE:

• No more forests or prairies. :(
  
• Pixies are responsible for global warming, except for when it is fake and made up by Al Gore the Cannibal.
• Science is not a democracy.
• Sweaters are best when they have V-necks and also are orange. REALLY orange.
  
• 9/11 didn't change the human population size in the world (WHAT?).
• It is February. Winter is over because GLOBAL WARMING IT IS KILLING US ALL (I am qualified to make this assessment because I am from Cleveland).
  
• Coal. On a plate.
• The Sims is useful for science experiments.
  
• BOLOGNA DETECTION.
  
• Don't eat zebras. It's bad for the environment and makes all the poor babies die even more than they do already.
• Impervious = NO PENETRATION.
• West Virginia kills the most babies ever. This is because of COAL.
  
• Probably we are all going to die.

(We stole most of these fun facts from our notes, which also include things such as pictures of vagina octupi and pollution with a penis. A RED penis, at that.)

Science is the best because we learn SO MUCH and also because we play a lot of internet Scrabble (I mean Lexulous, don't sue us plz) and learn many words that use Q with no U and also "wickapes." Also sometimes we get to look at pictures of cool animals like the BIGGEST WEASEL EVER that is the size of a greyhound and also frogs. And lizards and reptiles and bugs maybe.

DID YOU KNOW? That there's a kind of beetle with a pokey spiky penis that can spread its babymaking better because its penis is the scariest bitch that ever lived? It's true. Beetle rape is the best part of science. LOOK IT UP. Actually don't, we did it for you.

We didn't learn that in science class, though. (Otherwise it would be in our bullet-point list.)

BEEF PRICES?

(Yes.)


XOXO,
Gossip Geckos


Science.

!!!!!!!!!!!!

HELLO AGAIN BLOG. BOY DO WE HAVE A STORY FOR YOU!!!!!

It's been a while, but now we are back... ish.

AND WE GOT A FISH OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.

He is a Betta fish and his name is Chuck Bass II.

The Epic Story of Chuck Bass II (Part I)

Once upon a time, on a cold January day, there lived in Wooster two lasses of loneliness desperate for a friend. (Another friend, since they were also friends.) Their other friend, Sir Nathaniel Hoover, happened to know a great deal about fishes, which is a weird thing to know about, but they didn't judge.

"SIR NATHANIEL HOOVER," Lindsay cried through the internets, "WILT THOU ACCOMPANY A PAIR OF DAMOSELS ON THEIR QUEST TO MAKE A FISHY FRIEND?????"

And Sir Nathaniel Hoover said yes. Also they agreed to meet at the far pavilion.

And so the three friends journeyed to the forest Pet Store where they saw much fishes and were wonderly pleased. There were many great fishes, but none that stirred the hearts of the two damosels. And they searched for much time, but to no avail, and so were quite passingly wroth.

BUT THEN one of the damosels reached her pale white hand, clad in the finest samite, into the very darkest reaches of the very highest and most dangerous of shelves of fishes.

"BEHOLD!" Dame Alison announced. "I HAVE FOUND THE GREATEST FISH IN ALL THE LAND." And so it was.

The fish was clad in the reddest of all armours. He swam wonderly well and had upon him purple scales likened to the armour of the noblest of kings. He had the nose of a swine or else a Roman emperor and intelligence to match any other fish of his kind. His eyes shone brighter than the finest of precious jewels and his tail waved about like the finest hair of much fine and noble horses. He had all the nobility of a knight and possessed much worshipfulness.

Thus, with the swiftness of many great knights, the two damosels made purchase of the fish and all its accoutrements. And the fish was knighted Sir Chuck Bass II and he had many great deeds and adventures.

The end.

Fin.

PICTURES LOL.

No, for real. Chuck Bass II is the red thing.


(For Chuck Bass II, see top right hand bowl area. [Your right, our left.])


OH FUCK SHOULD'VE USED A CONDOM SHIT. KIDS, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE SEX. ALSO THEN YOU DIE.


Coming Soon:

• Chuck Bass II Furnishes His Home
• Chuck Bass II Gets Friends
• Chuck Bass II Attacks
• Chuck Bass II Almost Dies When Lindsay Forgets to Purify His Water
• Chuck Bass II Almost Suffocates on His Own Poop When Alison Doesn't Change His Damn Water

xoxo,
Gossip Girl