"I'm an old-fashioned swamp lover myself..."

APPARENTLY, all the water ever on the earth is disappearing, which blows real hard. One time, the government was all, "You know what we DON'T need? Those god damn swamp bullshits." So then they paid SWAMPBUSTERS to drain all the swamps. This is why we are the smartest country ever. (Even though, in all fairness, this was a long long time ago, like before Britney Spears. And not just Womanizer-era Britney Spears, either. This was like WAY long ago, like before Baby One More Time and everything. You know, before she shaved her head, and even before she became a whore. And WAY before K-Fed and also Jamie Lynn popping out like 17 babies. Not to mention before Britney even pooped out a baby. We're talking practically the Stone Age. But with fewer swamps.)

(Britney Spears, circa CRAZY TIME 2000-something)

Blog, it's been kind of a while, like a week maybe, and we feel kind of bad about that, but we've been busy with some organic garden bullshit and its been taking a toll on our ability to blog, since there's no other time we aren't sleeping or getting it on if we aren't in this class. Maybe homework or eatin or some shit, but damn there ain't been no bloggin time. What are we going to do after this class?

(Father Time, bein a bitch and not letting us blog, circa 2009)

SUPER POLL 2009!!!!!! What should we do when we aren't together this summer?

1. SEPARATE BLOGGING (this one makes me weep a little)
   
2. VIDEOBLOGGING (I don't even know how to do that shit, but we could probably make it happen... but I don't really want it to, let's be real, you don't need to hear us and have to look at us and stuff. Maybe if we wore masks)
   
3. BLOGGING IN ITALY FOREVER! (yes) (but what about the summer when we are takin care of kids and some shit?!?!)
4. LETTING THE BLOG DIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE :( :( :( :( :( :( :9 (but let's be real, no one wants that... our incredibly loyal and violent fanbase would rise up in protest and shank one million bitches at least (and while the world could deal with less bitches, we don't want our following imprisoned... yet.)

(The Great Blog Protest, circa THE FUTURE)

OH MY GOD THE DEAD ZONE. You can't escape this shit. I mean, you can TRY, but it will always find you. It knows where you are, and what you're thinking, and what you ate for dinner and the last time you pooped and EVERYTHING. It is like God in that way. Or Santa Claus. Or Sherlock Holmes/William of Baskerville. (Discussion question: Are medieval literature references ever appropriate in blogs? If so, how many may one make before he or she deserves to be ritually slaughtered?) (Note: We did write a whole article in medieval tongue... BUT IT WAS ABOUT CHUCK BASS II, which makes it more than ok.)

I think that's everything useful we have to say.

XOXO,
Gossip Swamps

A DEAD ZONE THE SIZE OF TEXAS OMG OMG OMG

I'm not sure where this is because I wasn't listening, but that's a fucking big dead zone.

So it's MARCH 24 and we are back after two long and grueling weeks of spring break. It's polar bear class time and we just learned that we're all going to die. Again. This is a common theme in polar bear class, along with GLOBAL WARMING and pixies and shit.

OH SHIT THE SAHARA IS CREEPING SOUTH. Someone stop it before it eats all the babies. Speaking of creeping, apparently things creeped all over the place in Bible times. God was all, "Noah, build a big fucking boat 'cause I'm gonna fuck up your shit, oh p.s. take some of those creeping things that creep along the earth and are creeping." Not even kidding. Also, a direct quote.

GOD DAMN POLAR BEAR CLASS IS LONG. (like my penis lolololololol)

Speaking of ... nothing we were speaking of, let's talk about DREAMS THAT INCLUDE BEARD HOODS AND C-SECTION 1-INCH BABIES.

...

Actually, let's not.

Polar bear class professor: "I love meat. I. LOVE. MEAT."

In other news, Bryn is a pansy-ass bitch.


XOXO,
Gossip Creeps