"EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME, YOU ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL. THANK YOU! BABY!"

quoth the Italians, evermore. (But only Italian men. Italian women just look at you like you just rolled in mud or something or smell really bad. WHATEVER ITALIAN WOMEN, just 'cause you're hott don't mean you gotta be bitchazzz.)

Here is a story about Italy and the way weather works. For many weeks it will be roughly 1 billion degrees (80) and then all of a sudden out of nowhere it's like 50 forever. AND THERE IS NO HEATZ INDOORS. Not until November because they care about the environment so it's the law or some shit. We would rather the polar bears died so we could be warm.

FA FREDDISSISSISSIMO. (It's really fucking cold.)

ANYWAY AMERICA, what up? Here in Italy things have been pretty okay lately. Like, last weekend we went to an agriturismo (TOURIST FARM KIND OF LIKE DWIGHT'S BEET FARM BUT WITHOUT AN IRRIGATION ROOM) and watched them make olive oil and gross cheese in a bucket for a thousand hours. This sucked, so instead of paying attention we took a lot of pictures of the Tuscan wildlife, such as chickens. Seriously who wants to watch an old dude up to his elbows in cheese you're going to eat later? Not me. There was also a really great dog. (THIS PICTURE IS REAL IT IS THE REAL DOG IT IS SO REAL.)

OH WAIT ALSO here is how you harvest olives: you rake trees over a blanket. The end. (SO FUN RIGHT????????)

We have also been learning a lot about ART. Like, did you know there was a famous Sienese artist (or as famous as Sienese artists ever are, anyway) whose nickname was "The Sodomist"??? Apparently doin' it in the butt was totally cool back then. People were like, "Oh, this dude does it in the butt all the time. Also he makes really good art. Let's call him The Sodomist and let him paint in all our important buildings! God will love it." Actually, Siena has never really been that into God much. Like there are these paintings in this SECRET CRYPT under the cathedral or whatever that are all about Jesus going to school and eating figs and shit. That shit totally wouldn't fly somewhere else where they actually liked God, such as Florence (Florence sucks). (For real, worst city ever.) (WORST.) (Ever.) There's also this really great painting in some former hospital dealio where this lady is holding a baby that looks like a tiny old man and he has her boob out and he's pointing it at this crippled dude like he's totally going to squirt him in his crippled face. Best.

Also once there was a naked Eve statue in the fountain but then the plague hit and everyone was like "SHIT why is the plague here???? Probz naked EVESINNERBITCH. Get rid of her." So they did, which is sad, because I kind of wanted to look at a naked chick everyday in the campo. Also, everyone died anyway so it didn't really help much in the end. (Seriously. The plague bitchslapped 80 percent of Siena. In a dead way.)

Did we mention that it's FUCKING COLD???? Seriously, who has to wear babushka scarves INSIDE IN FLLALAAALLL AUTUMN. Us. That is the answer. We look like two little old blogging ladies blogging in the dead of a Russian winter or something. I AM WEARING TIGHTS UNDER MY PANTS. AND undies. (No undies.)

OK so also this weekend we went to the BEST GARDEN EVER. Once upon a time there was a cracked out lady with a name that doesn't matter and she made a shitload of fucked up statues based off of tarot cards. They all had the hugest boobs. Or three penises. So naturally we appreciated this fine art by climbing all over it and taking a lot of obnoxious pictures and putting them on facebook. So if you want to check out the crazy boob sculptures, check our facebooks. If you are not facebook friends with us, TOO BAD FOR YOU. Hookers.

Also we sincerely hope that our blogging antics have not cost Brin Rainflower Sunbeam Petunia Waterfall Tree Turtle Hunter Rainbow Pigeon a job. Because we love him and would never want to ruin his life in such a way. (In other ways, potentially. HEY BRIN WHATCHA DOIN FOR SPRING BREAK????? NOT THAT YOU HAVE THOSE ANYMORE BUT WE DO LET'S HANG OUT)

THIS ENTRY IS SO LONG (that's what she said) and so we're gonna wrap it up.

FUN FACT: Just like the blogging on this blog in olden days, we have been blogging IN CLASS YES. SUCK IT ITALIAN.

XOXO,
Gossip Babushkas

"I'm an old-fashioned swamp lover myself..."

APPARENTLY, all the water ever on the earth is disappearing, which blows real hard. One time, the government was all, "You know what we DON'T need? Those god damn swamp bullshits." So then they paid SWAMPBUSTERS to drain all the swamps. This is why we are the smartest country ever. (Even though, in all fairness, this was a long long time ago, like before Britney Spears. And not just Womanizer-era Britney Spears, either. This was like WAY long ago, like before Baby One More Time and everything. You know, before she shaved her head, and even before she became a whore. And WAY before K-Fed and also Jamie Lynn popping out like 17 babies. Not to mention before Britney even pooped out a baby. We're talking practically the Stone Age. But with fewer swamps.)

(Britney Spears, circa CRAZY TIME 2000-something)

Blog, it's been kind of a while, like a week maybe, and we feel kind of bad about that, but we've been busy with some organic garden bullshit and its been taking a toll on our ability to blog, since there's no other time we aren't sleeping or getting it on if we aren't in this class. Maybe homework or eatin or some shit, but damn there ain't been no bloggin time. What are we going to do after this class?

(Father Time, bein a bitch and not letting us blog, circa 2009)

SUPER POLL 2009!!!!!! What should we do when we aren't together this summer?

1. SEPARATE BLOGGING (this one makes me weep a little)
   
2. VIDEOBLOGGING (I don't even know how to do that shit, but we could probably make it happen... but I don't really want it to, let's be real, you don't need to hear us and have to look at us and stuff. Maybe if we wore masks)
   
3. BLOGGING IN ITALY FOREVER! (yes) (but what about the summer when we are takin care of kids and some shit?!?!)
4. LETTING THE BLOG DIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE :( :( :( :( :( :( :9 (but let's be real, no one wants that... our incredibly loyal and violent fanbase would rise up in protest and shank one million bitches at least (and while the world could deal with less bitches, we don't want our following imprisoned... yet.)

(The Great Blog Protest, circa THE FUTURE)

OH MY GOD THE DEAD ZONE. You can't escape this shit. I mean, you can TRY, but it will always find you. It knows where you are, and what you're thinking, and what you ate for dinner and the last time you pooped and EVERYTHING. It is like God in that way. Or Santa Claus. Or Sherlock Holmes/William of Baskerville. (Discussion question: Are medieval literature references ever appropriate in blogs? If so, how many may one make before he or she deserves to be ritually slaughtered?) (Note: We did write a whole article in medieval tongue... BUT IT WAS ABOUT CHUCK BASS II, which makes it more than ok.)

I think that's everything useful we have to say.

XOXO,
Gossip Swamps